Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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