doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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