So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
