I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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