I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
