At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
