babies were throwing up all over the place
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
