I'm going to jail i love you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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