Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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