i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
