Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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