matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
