It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
