Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
