So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
