so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
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