Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
