wakey wakey hands off snakey
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Randomize
