return my video game
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
