One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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