hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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