she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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