What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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