My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
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