The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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