end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Randomize
