butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
