party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So many bounce houses so little time
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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