but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
