nut hugger
Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
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