I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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