Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
