'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
