No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
