Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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