i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
so much tequila, so little girl.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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