i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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