eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
