just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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