He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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