"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
