wakey wakey hands off snakey
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Randomize
