I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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