apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
