the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Randomize
