I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
