The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
