There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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