on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize
