did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I just forgot I was standing up.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
