Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
